Saturday, March 31

Who needs Zoloft

...when you have baby kitties?

Meet the newest editions to the Dullard pack: Billie and Ella.

Sorry, folks. More kitty porn to come.

An inconvenient fool

Just when it seems that science and reason are winning the argument on climate change, along comes John Travolta to foul things up. The former Sweathog and famed Scientologist says building domed cities is one solution to environmental problems.

At least the Germans recognize the threat posed by Travolta and fellow El Ron follower Tom Cruise.

Friday, March 30

David Lynch on product placement

The eccentric director succinctly sounds off in response to a reporter's question. Does that mean Pabst Blue Ribbon didn't pay for this mention in "Blue Velvet"? Both clips are probably NSFW.

Shark vs. kraken

Who will win?

Thursday, March 29

Robo Jacko

Michael Jackson wants a huge robot version of himself to roam the Nevada desert, and the bizarre construct may include frickin' laser beams.

Wednesday, March 28

Chasing the Americone Dream

It's not easy to find Americone Dream, the Colbert-inspired flavor of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. With fudge-covered flakes of waffle and caramel, it sounds delicious.

Our local Ben & Jerry's outlets have been out, and the grocery stores don't have it either. Has anyone out there tried it?

Monday, March 26

Will albums still be with us?

Is it so long ago that bands offered extended versions of albums thanks to the proliferation of the CD format? "Brothers in Arms" by Dire Straits and "Life's Too Good" by the Sugarcubes come to mind. And is it really so long ago that the album was a format for an overall experience, be it "Sandinista!" or "The Wall"?

Now the album, regardless of medium and the message, may be dead. So it goes.

Friday, March 23

Cadillac Jam

Apparently I am not the only person who noticed that "Start!" by the Jam is now part of a Cadillac commercial. I am not as peeved as these people, but it does seem ironic given Paul Weller's politics, assuming he had some say in giving permission for the use. This is the guy who once wrote "socialism is democracy" in liner notes, after all.

Will Cadillac go here next for its next ad?

John Bolton, Jon Stewart and Honest Abe

Former U.N. ambassador John Bolton recently appeared on "The Daily Show" and peddled misinformation. He even got some facts wrong about Abraham Lincoln. For his next show, Jon Stewart enlisted Lincoln historian Doris Kearns Goodwin to debunk Bolton. Watch it here.

On a similar note, watch Tom DeLay dispute the contents of his own book in this clip.

Possible Dullard Feat of Strength

Dive into this pool.

Wednesday, March 21

Larry "Bud" Melman is no longer with us

Calvert DeForest, foil to David Letterman, is dead at age 85. An example of his work can be seen here.

Tuesday, March 20

Good news/bad news

Good news: There's going to be a (probably two-hour) special episode of Ricky Gervais' Extras. Bad news: That'll be the end of it.

Monday, March 19

Separated at birth?

Patti Smith of Rock and Roll Hall of Fame fame and Danielle Rousseau of TV's "Lost."

Dark sarcasm in the classroom

Rate My Teachers is a site where students (and parents too) can grade a high school's instructors. I didn't recognize many names from my school; more than 20 years after I graduated, retirements and sad demises have taken their toll on the faculty.

I did, however, leave a comment about a chemistry teacher who once screamed at me in class for the relatively minor offense of not writing my name on my quiz.

Friday, March 16

Things you should know about me, many of which are true

I believe March Madness to be over-diagnosed and over-medicated by the medical community.

I've never punched a midget. I'm not even sure I'd like to at this point.

I believe Sandra Bullock is America's Sweetheart.

I have gifted at least three people with Ray Davies' short film Return to Waterloo. None of them, to my knowledge, have watched it.

When suitably excited, I can lift a mid-sized truck or van from off of a child's foot.

I own both a banjo and an accordion, in violation of local housing codes.

I love extravagantly. But I hate with the fury of a thousand suns.

I am largely unfamiliar with the stylistic characteristcs and lyrical tropes of Death Metal, yet I still assume it's a genre of music that is not for me.

I believe the works of Calvin Trillin to be underappreciated, and that they should remain so.

I like to believe that there is a man out there who can eat fifty eggs.

I believe Mormonism to be a fairly insane belief system, comfortably in the middle of conventional Christianity and Scientology on the craziness scale, but that, really, it's just a matter of splitting hairs when you get right down to it.

I have written over 3,000 duets for sousaphone and marimba, but the majority of them turned out to be unintentional rewrites of "Ida, Sweet as Apple Cider."

I retired from competitive badminton while still in my teens.

I really like pancakes, but have grave doubts as to their nutritional value.

As a child I killed for sport. As an adult I continue to kill, but only for sustenance, and do not take much pleasure in the act.

I believe that it takes a village to raise a child, and that it takes a nation of millions to hold us back. I am not sure what the intersection of these beliefs is, or if there is necessarily a conflict, but the two beliefs together cause me some level of cognitive dissonance, as well as bursitis.

LISTS: People banned from SNL

Some interesting history for people like me that continue, inexplicably, to follow the show.

Wednesday, March 14

Cookin' kraken

The NYT tells us how to stir up some squid.

Tuesday, March 13

First thing we do is fire all the lawyers

The Wall Street Journal editorial page and the local radio talk-show guy are writing off the Bush administration's firing of selected U.S. attorneys as a "hey, they all do it" sort of thing. After all, isn't that what Clinton did in 1993? But this isn't that, as pointed out here.

The gist: Dismissal of the whole lot, as done by Clinton in '93, is par for the course. The firing of a targeted group for political purposes in the middle of a presidency, however, is playing dirty. That's what is at issue now.

Fourteen cover songs that are better than the originals

The Onion A.V. Club lifts story idea from the Dullard Gazette.

The only overlap between the two lists is Hendrix's "All Along the Watchtower," though i can't argue with their Who or Costello choices, either.

Van Halen's shame

For the first time, I watched the induction ceremony of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as it happened. The event was broadcast live on VH1 Classic, but the lack of television-friendly production values made it feel like watching a mix of MTV and C-SPAN. The time-filling "classic performance" clips from previous years didn't help. Still, it was a more entertaining broadcast than the Oscars. (Here's a recap.)

Patti Smith and R.E.M. were great — older and creakier, but still reflective of the form that earned them the Hall of Fame honor. Their Stooges cover rocked, and the all-star version of Smith's "People of the Power" was indeed a powerful moment.

But where was Van Halen? They finally get some respect (even Michael Stipe acknowledged them in his acceptance speech), but only ousted members Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony showed up for the induction. They were gracious if not eloquent. The principals, however, were painfully absent. Eddie Van Halen is in rehab, and apparently David Lee Roth was miffed that no one would perform "Jump" with him. What an embarrassment.

This was the chance for Van Halen to cash in on the nostalgic goodwill in people (like me) who hated the band when it was at its arrogant peak 25 years ago (like me). I would have loved to have seen a Roth-Hagar duet.

Eddie and Diamond Dave blew it. I don't hate them anymore. I actually pity them.

Monday, March 12

Pete Townshend interviewed

The Who guitarist discusses the Internet (he predicted it in 1971), copyright law (he says only changes to that will stop him from licensing songs), and TV theme songs.

UPDATE: The bands ends a show in Tampa after one song because Roger Daltrey has bronchitis.

Saturday, March 10

Thursday, March 8

I have GOT to stop complaining...

...about my job.

Slaw wrasslin'

The Bike Week tradition of women wrestling in cole slaw lives on.

Wednesday, March 7

How the other half dates

What kind of schmuck would pay $500 to meet a bunch of gold diggers?

Anarchy on the island?

"Lost" will add a character called Mikhail Bakunin in tonight's episode. If that name sounds familiar from your history classes, the real Mikhail Bakunin was a Russian anarchist.

Marvin Candle from the orientation film is back too. It's all good as long as the episode can give the show some much-needed momentum.

There must be some misunderstanding

We knew that the "popular" incarnation of Genesis was getting back together. But did we know, as reported here, that Peter Gabriel and a full performance of "The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway" were seriously in the mix?

It won't happen — not yet — because of Gabriel's own album. (He's still recording?) That means Genesis audiences will be treated to "Invisible Touch" and other Phil Collins drek.

Inside the Libby Jury Room

A really compelling account by Denis Collins, aka Juror #9.

Better That The Best

The Best of Craigslist is always fun to read, but it's got nothing on these guys.

It is from my favorite sketch comedy group. Check out their new book, Sky Maul, and their podcast.

Monday, March 5

If there is a God...

Then he worked through the fingers of this man. Or, he is this man.

(Check out the Bass Cam!)


Not cool.

Saturday, March 3

Friday, March 2


Fountains of Wayne has a new single out.

Bush administration building new nukes

One of the requirements for the new design is that it shouldn't need testing.

So....yeah. Sleep well, kiddies, President Goober is getting himself some new toys!

SWAT Monkey

I would totally watch a show called SWAT Monkey.

Coulter drops f-bomb

Ann Coulter insinuates that John Edwards is gay. Even the sympathetic audience seems uncomfortable with her remark.

UPDATE: Reaction from Edwards' camp and Republicans.

Scientology update

  • John Travolta says that if Anna Nicole Smith had only turned to El Ron for help, she might still be with us. Hey, there's still time to hook up Britney Spears to an e-meter.
  • Rumor has it that Tom Cruise is in the market for an apartment at the Dakota, the famous building in NYC where John Lennon lived (and died). As if Yoko hasn't suffered enough.

Thursday, March 1

Monster mash

Jimbo Wales meets Gary Gygax at Monstropedia, a compendium of fantastical creatures. Yes, the kraken gets an entry — and rightly so. ... Unless you think the kraken is real.

Man, I've been lonely...

...but I've never been donkey-and-a-latex-suit lonely.