HOST: Jon Stewart, unfortunately, didn't cut it. His skills and mannerisms didn't translate on the big stage, and the laugh lines were strained. Still, we love Jon, so we are not going to trash him altogether like some in the MSM are. DULLARD GRADE: So-so.
PREDICTIONS: I got 14 out of 23 categories correct. Alas, I missed the biggies and am haunted by my insta-picks that turned out to be way off. DULLARD GRADE: So-so.
BEST SPEECH: George Clooney, who was both self-effacing and eloquent, and even effectively addressed the "Hollywood is out of touch" critique.
WORST SPEECH: Just about everyone else, as almost every winner launched into a dull "thank you" list of names we don't know.
OOF! AWARD: Salma Hayek, who not only looked great, but also effortlessly moved about the stage in a semi-complicated presentation for Best Original Score.
GOOF AWARDS: Charlize Theron and Morgan Freeman, who both looked sloppy and in Freeman's case, possibly drunk.
SCARY AFTER-PARTY GUEST: Eddie Van Halen.
LASTING LIFE LESSON: "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp." It sure is.