Sunday, July 31


Borat: The Movie

Some find him less than sweet. But I like him. Does he like me?

Yes. Yes, he does.

Saturday, July 30

Amazing CGI in 'Wedding Crashers!'

The hit comedy "Wedding Crashers!" gets a Dullard rating of so-so. It's actually a perfectly suitable summer diversion, just too predictable to get the coveted "rocked" designation.

Some notes:

-- Vince Vaughn once again does a great job of playing Vince Vaughn.

-- Vaughn's counterpart is a remarkable piece of special effects. The film makers have digitally created an "actor" code-named Owen Wilson. He's part Ellen DeGeneres, part Rod Stewart and part Muppet. For extra laughs, the CGI wizards have given Wilson a long and oddly bent nose that hints at a kinky sensuality.

Building on the triumphant legacy of Jar-Jar Binks and Gollum, this "actor" is the next step in the process of eliminating flesh and blood from modern movie-making altogether. I, for one, welcome our CGI overlords.

Friday, July 29


I am dogmatically anti-death-penalty. But there's a big difference between saying the death penalty is wrong, and providing web space for this bowel extraction to protest his innocence. The Canadian Coalition Against the Death Penalty already has an uphill battle fighting for US penal system reforms given the fact that they're, uh Canadian and all. I don't see this helping their cause.

Thursday, July 28

All you need is cash

A batch of John Lennon memorabilia goes up for auction today in London.

The big item: The piece of paper containing his hand-written lyrics to "All You Need Is Love." Estimated value: Up to $1 million. There's also some linens from the 1969 "bed-in" with Yoko.

Meanwhile, the "Lennon!" musical continues to flounder on its way to Broadway.

Stitch 'n' Pitch in Seattle

It's Knit Night in Seattle. The woeful Mariners woo the knitting crowd with a special discount and pre-game festivities, including a yarn marketplace with reps from local shops.

Says one knit-wit: "My husband is a big fan, and it's a great way for us to spend time together doing the things we both love."

Wednesday, July 27

Just Because


Doonesbury has been merciless about Rove lately. Sadly, this strip isn't far from the truth, as it turns out Rove got a raise in July to $161,000.

Though I imagine money matters not to the Dark Lord.

Gayest. Batman Strip. Ever.

Brucie apparently likes to ply 8-year olds with cake and extravagant gifts. After spanking them. I like how young Dick Grayson's hand and foot escape that second panel, though.

Is the Far Right Starting to Turn on Bush?

Interesting, if true.

They Finally Nailed OJ

For stealing DirecTV.

Sunday, July 24

Why Gonzales Wasn't Nominated to Supremes

Boy, Frank Rich has been on fire lately with the Plame scandal.

Critics, Dullards agree on TV

We all love "Desperate Housewives" and "Arrested Development." "The Daily Show" ain't bad either.

Saturday, July 23

Ian Bakke's "Types of Stories My Mother Tells"

You can't choose your family....

Also from the same writer (but don't tell his mother) -- it turns out Darth Vader really is a meanie.

Just plain wrong

Taking it easy on the back of a Costa Rican crocodile seems like a bad idea, but the tourists there love it.

Friday, July 22

'Street Wars' in NYC

People still like to run around "shooting" each other in assassination-style games. It's all good fun, I guess, but New York City seems like a poor choice and now seems like an especially bad time.

But that is not stopping some people.

Crossing Guard, 79, Fired Over Drug Test

Man old enough to actually remember the "land of the free" refuses to pee on command.

Great, Now We'll Have the IRA Attacking us as Well

Ireland grants CIA power to interrogate Irish citizens in Ireland in total secrecy.

The 'gay vibe' on "Desperate Housewives"

"Desperate Housewives" creator Marc Cherry, who describes himself as a gay Republican, talks about the hit show's subtext. One example:

"The moment you put a woman in an evening gown mowing the lawn, it's just gay," said Cherry, referring to a slapstick scene with actress Eva Longoria. "It's kind of just what makes me laugh. A lot of my gay brethren get the joke."

I dunno. I'm willing to take the scene at face value.

That's gotta hurt

A diver clonks her head on the board at a competition in Montreal. Don't worry, she's OK after a few stitches.

Kissing the 4th Amendment Goodbye

Congress is voting to extend the Patriot Act.

Thursday, July 21

Don't Know Which is Creepier

Rose McGowan dating a senior citizen, or Al Pacino getting Marilyn Manson's sloppy seconds.

Embarrassing Enough to be Arrested for Huffing Paint Fumes

But going for the gold lands you in the Smoking Gun Hall of Fame.

El Ron for Dummies

Overlooked in the Cruise-Holmes-Shields media hoopla: a closer look at L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology. Slate tells us how it all got started.

Highlights include his "space opera" aspirations, the bizarre Sea Org and details on El Ron's last days spent in seclusion.

Overheard in New York

Just a reminder: Best Website E-ver. I don't think any other city in the world could provide such bons mot as "Man, next time I see him, it's over. I'll throw worms on his ass if I have to."

Wednesday, July 20

Gus and Kurt

Maverick director Gus Van Sant of "Good Will Hunting" and "To Die For" fame is set to unleash "Last Days," his largely fictional take on the sad demise of Kurt Cobain.

Gus, working in what is descibed as a non-linear form, will probably have as many "true facts" as Nick Broomfield did in 1998's "Kurt and Courtney." But like that documentary, "Last Days" promises to be interesting even if you can't accept what you see at face value. Plus, Sonic Youth's Kim Gordon makes a cameo, and hubby Thurston Moore serves as a musical consultant.

The Village Voice chimes in with a review and this bit of humor.

Paul Anka, meanwhile, sure smells like teen spirit.

I don't know anything about the new Supreme Court nominee....

....but check out that Stepford family of his.

I'll bet they beat the shit out of that kid for dancing later that evening.

LISTS: Spin's 100 Greatest Albums, 1985-2005

Tom the Dog has a great review of Spin's list of the best records since they started publishing, 20 years ago.

$314 Billion


Number of stable Democracies established: 0
Number of Bin Ladens captured: 0
Number of Presidents who got to feed their massive egos by taking out the man their father was too prudent to dethrone: 1

Google - First Map Company to the Moon

The amount of detail as you zoom all the way in (using your '+' key) is stunning.

Good News....

Thanks to nobody wanting to fight W's war, my brothers and I may be eligible to enlist soon!

If they don't start pulling out troops next year, I wonder if we'll be elligible for the draft, as well....


It's always the ones in the red shirts that go first....

Romancing the Horse

Not only icky, but dangerous. And tricky to report.

Sunday, July 17

No more Floyd reunions (maybe)

Pink Floyd bassist/songwriter Roger Waters would apparently rather focus on his opera about the French Revolution. "Ca Ira (There Is Hope)" drops Sept. 27. He expects his "head to be on the chopping block" from the classical crowd.

As for his former band's Live 8 reunion gig: "The chances of further developing with the Pink Floyd reunion are very slight."

But Waters also recently told a radio interviewer: "Never say never. I mean, under sort of similar circumstances, or in some way, we might do things again."

As for former arch-enemy/guitarist Dave Gilmour, here's what he says: "It wouldn't be absolutely impossible for a similar thing to happen again on a one-off basis, but that's it for me - I've moved on in the last 20 years."

Friday, July 15

It's Karl Rove's America

So sayeth the Krug.

Schmidt Report

Here's Republican Andrew Sulivan on the latest glimpse we have into the administration's torture policies.

Tom Cruise Presents Scientology

A mostly toothless Flash parody -- the sad thing is the actual beliefs of Scientology are much funnier than this.

Wednesday, July 13

Them Dukes!

Ben "Cooter" Jones says you shouldn't see the "Dukes of Hazzard" movie. Having been subjected to the woefully unfunny trailer, I am inclined to heed the obscure actor's advice, although his reasons are different from mine.

I am also skeptical of the "Bad News Bears" remake but am willing to give it a chance since it's directed by Richard Linklater of "School of Rock" and "Dazed and Confused."

Klosterman strikes again

Chuck Klosterman of "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs" fame is back with a new book, "Killing Yourself to Live." (Buy it!) This time, Chuck visits the sites of rock 'n' roll death, including the Chelsea Hotel in NYC and the nightclub destroyed in the Great White fire. The Onion A.V. Club weighs in with a review.

Over on the fantasy/sci-fi shelf, our friends at Evil Androids offer an insightful examination of the genre's fetish for multi-volume epics. It involves facial hair.

Hell of Cool


Matchbox Twenty are Still Tools

But this is kinda funny.

It's the End of the World as We Know It

And here's how.

Monday, July 11

Victory = Exit Strategy

Guess who said "Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the President to explain to us what the exit strategy is."

Trick question -- it was W, discussing Clinton's Kosovo war. More quote fun here.

Sunday, July 10

New Google toolbar for Firefox

Spellcheck, language translator and more powerful mapping features now available for those with Windows XP or Mac OS X 10.2.

Saturday, July 9

Johnny Depp is ... "Jacko Wonkahands!"

I'm not the only one who sees Jacko in the reconfigured Wonka movie, directed by Ed Wood. Depp denies all charges, however, and insists his inspiration is Mr. Rogers.

Friday, July 8

I'll Take 'Potpourri' for $200, Alex

LISTS: Top 100 Albums of the 1980s

Plenty to argue with here.

The Terrorists Have Won

Oliver Stone and Nicholas Cage team up for a 9/11 film.

Oh, the humanity....

Fountains of Wayne

They have a new record out! Why does nobody tell me these things! Besides Bill Sherman, I mean....

Wednesday, July 6

Is America Over?

I guess I'm not the only one to miss America.

Tonight on Cinemax: Cleavage

No, wait, that's not Skinnemax, it's T&A on A&E.

I'm sure it will be very educational.

Republicans want to speed up death penalty

Despite (or because of) a recent rash of death-penalty cases where death-row inmates were found innocent on appeal due to recent scientific advances, Republicans want to take away federal appeal options in death-penalty cases. I am speechless at their naked bloodlust.

Every embryo is innocent and pure, but if you've somehow ended up on death-row, by God you must be guilty of something, so let's just help you along as quickly as possible to your appointment with St. Peter.

Tuesday, July 5

Just Wrong

Indian tribe considering a glass bridge across the Grand Canyon.

Talk About Yer 'Bad Day.'

Stipe, Stipe, Stipe....Stop.

10 Things Your Contractor Won't Tell You

Some scary stuff here.

Dwarf swarm in Orlando!

The annual Little People of America National Conference helps the short-statured find love. Says one: "When men talk to you here, you know it's because they like you and not because they have some midget fantasy."

Sunday, July 3

Batman begins the begin

Thoughts on "Batman Begins," which I saw Saturday in Gotham and seemed to have enjoyed more than some of my fellow Dullards:

-- Christian Bale made for the most convincing Batman yet.

-- Katie Holmes made for the least convincing D.A. ever.

-- It was good to see Rutger Hauer again. Possible future casting: He'd make a perfect Secretary of Defense in "Rummy! The Movie."

-- The deletion of self-referential irony, which had consumed the series in the 1990s, is refreshing.

-- The basic Bat Cave was stark and effective; the swirl of winged mammals surrounding the Batman himself provides a moving moment.

-- The Scarecrow character is probably being used by Thomas Mapother IV as an indictment against psychiatry.

-- Bottom line: Rocked.

-- Footnote: If Johnny Depp was playing Keith Richards in the "Pirates" movie, then he's channeling Jacko in the "Willy Wonka" remake. That's what I took away from the trailer. Truly spooky.

Friday, July 1

Brooke fires back!

Brooke Shields writing an op-ed in the NYT? And it's good?

Oh yes, it is, when she cracks back on Thomas Mapother IV and his views on "vitamins and exercise."